The Boatbuilders Yard

Burger reviewed: Wagyu burger, eggplant relish, pancetta, cheese, lettuce, tomato and chips.

Venue: Boat Builders Yard.

Date: 10/02/2012

This week’s Burger Friday bought the Fellows to the Boat Builders Yard on South Wharf. A location that can only be described by teaching our readership a new word – gentrified. The word gentrification can basically be described as a property face lift. The scenery around South Wharf just gives off that pharmaceutically enhanced feel – where a once run down area of Melbourne has had fancy new buildings constructed on it simply because it is by the water. So although the area is quite pleasing to the eye, it does not give off that homely feel that warms the very cockles of your heart.

But who gives a shit about the scenery, we are here to critique a burger!

We rocked up at the Boat Builders Yard on a slightly blustery afternoon and had no trouble finding a table. The majority of the tables are outside so you would want a pair of brass balls if you planned on going there between April and October. The burger and a pint of draught cost $28 (getting up towards Rockpool territory in terms of price). The waitress handed us our UFO which would signal when our burgers were ready (deduct a point for having to get the burgers yourself). The UFO had on it the number 51 – a number made famous by such sporting superstars as Adelaide Crows key position player Randall Bone and the Chicago Bears Hall-of-Famer Dick Butkus (pronounced Butt-Kiss). 

All penis jokes aside, a point of great amusement occurred when we looked over to the table beside us, of all things, we saw a pirate! A man that is granted automatic shotgun under the widely accepted shotgun rules.

The burger itself was not great – a mere pass I would say. The bun was a bit greasy (yeah the bun, not the burger), the bun fell apart at the bottom and the patty was a little overcooked and slightly dry. However, the patty was clearly handmade, as it contained a large number of little additives, one of which being chilli – which was completely unexpected but a real winner in this burger leaving that slight tingly feeling on the tongue afterwards. The burger had bacon, plenty of tomato, lovely caramelised onions and a really tasty slice of cheese (another winner). But the eggplant relish was virtually unnoticeable, meaning that the burger lacked that great sauce to bring it all together (a bit like Jobe Watson lacks all the necessary skills to be a great footballer). Each of the fellows even resorted to dipping the burger in our chip dipping sauce – so not only do you have to pick up the burger yourself, you have to dress it as well. 

The chips were exceptional – a nice crunch yet light and fluffy on the inside. As you fetched your meal from the pickup point you were presented with a large array of sauces to which there was no limit on consumption (which was good because you used half of it on the burger).

Another thing I didn’t quite like was the abundance of rocket in the burger when it clearly called for the more watery iceberg lettuce. 

The AFL metaphor I will use to sum up this burger is that of Nick Reiwoldt kicking for goal – clearly too much going on in his head and really needs to work on the basics to be a successful set shot. What I mean by that is that the chefs put so much time into concocting the perfect patty spice mixture that they forgot to get the basics of the burger down pat – such as having a good sauce and cooking the burger to a juicy medium rare. 

Altogether, the burger had good and bad elements and not surprisingly didn’t really work well as a whole.

Burger Friday Rating: 29.33/50