Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Precinct Hotel

Burger Reviewed: The Wagyu Beef Burger

Venue: The Precinct Hotel

Date: 8/1/2013

Ahhh the first burger of the new year. Walking towards the Precinct Hotel I got the same feeling I do on the morning of the first test for the summer - one of excitement. It is the same feeling I get after watching Richmond lose their round 1 match up and you just know that they are going to miss the finals for another year. I will begin this burview by issuing a sincere and heartfelt apology to our readership for the lack of reviews towards the later half of the year.

Our last review was back on the 14th of September meaning that whilst peaking early made Burger Friday's year a lot like Essendon's season, at least we made it to September. So to quote former possession of weapons convict T.I. and the Jonas Brothers (a poor man's One Direction) - "We're sorry".

We entered the Precinct Hotel and were surprised to find a absolute paddock of space for us to sit in. We promptly ordered the advertised $20 beer and burger deal and were given the table number 93 - a number best known for being the route which connects Newfoundland to Labrador. The year '93 was best known for the Essendon premiership, their first since back to back flags in 1984-85 - both of which Dustin Fletcher played in. That year in sport was also known for the Chicago Bulls completing the first of their two three-peats and Michael Jordan announcing his first retirement (seriously, MJ may be the greatest of all time but he is up their with Brett Favre in the worst of all time at retiring successfully. At least MJ pronounces his surname correctly).

History lesson aside, the burger itself is a tough one to describe as all of the individual ingredients that make up the burger could be criticised on their own but when combined into the unadulterated gloriousness that is meat wrapped in bread, the burger seems to work well.

Which leads me to the word I will use to describe this burger as a whole - workmanlike.

The patty was big and juicy but obviously processed. I would liken it to Russell Crowe's performance in the Les Miserables movie - forgettable. What was the casting manager thinking when he chose Russell Crowe for that part? Hasn't he heard of the insult to the music industry that is Russell's band - Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt (no, that name is not a joke).

The bun looked doughy on first peep but was needed to support the meaty beef patty. The bacon had barely kissed the grill. And the sauce combo of mayo and Heinz Big Red had combined with the lettuce shards to create a reasonable replica of McDonald's secret sauce.

This burger is an easy one to fix for the Precinct Hotel - add an 'erb or spice to the patty to give it a little kick and cook the bacon a little longer. The patty/bun/sauce combo is simple and effective, and with the changes recommended I would have no issue in rating this burger in the very high 30's.

The chips were the highlight. Well cooked, crunchy and plentiful. Some of the better we have had. But dipping sauce was non-existent.

The person whom this burger is most accurately compared to would be former Australian cricket captain Mark Taylor. He is not going to dance down the pitch and smack the opening quick back over his head or tug on David Hussey's shirt to stop him from running a second (if the stars play the renegades in the semi's I reckon we just line them up for a good old fashioned Donnybrook). But you know what you are getting from him.

I would recommend this burger if you are in the area and want a good honest feed.

 Score = 34/50

The Precinct Hotel on Urbanspoon

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