New York Burger

Burger reviewed: The Manhattan Burger

Venue: New York Burger

Date: 6/7/2012

The Collins Street store of New York Burger Co (NYBC) was the venue of today’s Burger Friday meeting. And to give you the result straight up, I was left slightly underwhelmed.

NYBC is a relatively new entrant to the market of franchised burger venues and its signature burger, the Manhattan, was the burger dejour. Proclaiming to be from the land of the bigger, stronger, fatter I expected this thing to be f’ing huge. I am talking burger the size of Brett Ebert’s head, enough chips to stop Adam Richman in his tracks and coupled with a xxxl size refillable cup of soda. 

And to be honest, I  don’t think this is unreasonable when you think of the largesse that New York has provided the world. The Big Apple, the home of the Big Bambino, the Donald, the Yankees, the Knicks. A place that Frank Sinatra loved so much he repeated its name twice!

But unfortunately my gluttonous dreams were deflated when it came out. It was just kinda normal. Real normal. Just your real run of the mill, smack bang in the middle, average burger. Kinda like every player on the Melbourne football club list type of normal.  

The patty was the highlight of the burger but still had its flaws (it is kind of like being labelled as the smartest contestant on the TV show "The Hills"). It was well cooked but clearly was not handmade. A handmade burger is so much more of an asset to a burger maker in that firstly, the meat is generally of higher quality but also, spices and herbs can be tossed into the patty mixture allowing you to personalise your patty. Not to mention allowing you to finagle the mixture into whatever size and shape you want. My number one tip for NYBC would be to upgrade to a handmade patty and experiment with the patty mixture to give a truer New York experience. Nostalgia is gold.   

The bun did its job in that it kept the burger together. That is about all we can say for it. Much like the maligned Australian-born English wicket keeper Geraint Jones - he stopped the ball from going to the boundary when the batsmen left it - that is all.  

The chips were akin to the style and serving size you get from McD’s for $1 on the dollar change menu and were quite well done. A good shoestring fry with some nice sauce is always going to please the Fellows. Unfortunately, the sauce was lacking.  

Everything is better with bacon and the same holds true for the burger at NYBC. However, the bacon lacked the ideal crunch that would make this burger better tuxturally.  

All in all, the burger had flavours similar to that of your local fish and chip shop, but without the ooze of cheese and egg. Due to the fact that this burger seemed to lack effort and the ability to live up to its name, we are likening this burger to Nathan Ablett. But hey, he won a premiership - that makes him a better footballer than Nathan Buckley in my book.

The price was reasonable at around $13 for the meal combo which is good for a venue in amongst the rat race that is Collins Street. If you are in the area, it is probably worth trying. 

Burger Friday Rating: 30/50

Andrews Hamburgers

 

Burger reviewed: Traditional beef burger with the lot.

Venue: Andrews Hamburgers Albert Park

Date: 20 April 2012

The iconic Andrews Hamburgers in Albert Park was the venue of this weeks Burger Friday. Having served up burgers since 1939, there is little doubt that Andrew know burgers, and accordingly so, Andrews Hamburgers reputation for dishing up delicious burgers is widely known across Melbourne.

The word icon was originally used to describe works of early Christian religious art. Now the word is commonly used in the general sense of a symbol — i.e. a name, face, picture, edifice or even a person readily recognized as having some well-known significance or embodying certain qualities. For Andrews hamburgers the latter is probably more applicable than the former. While hardly recognisable as a religious piece of art (except maybe on the way home after a dozen frothies), but certainly a delicious and modern iconic burger. And let's be honest, besides the grand prix, and the lake (which arguably both relate to the same thing), is there much else which Albert park is known for?

The burger with the lot is a lot of value for the money (coming in with chips at under $15). It is big, honest and flavor some. Think fish and chip shop burger, and then make it bigger and better. While grilling the meat patty, grilled onions are pushed on top into the meat and then covered with swiss cheese to melt away deliciously into a sticky beautiful mess. The meat and cheese mess is then perched on a bun on top of a bed of cabbage and lettuce, covered with crunchy bacon and topped with a dollop of the old trusty dead horse (heinz big red) to complete the beast. Wrapped in paper and served in a paper bag, this is take away burgers at their mighty best. Hot tip for young players - make sure you assume the position, i.e. when your going to take your first bite, lean forward and stick your arse out to avoid making a mess of your clothing. 

Now if I do my math correctly, having opened in 1939, that is 73 years of burger flipping. It is clear to see that these guys know what they are doing behind a hot plate and the crowds of tradies and hipsters flocking to Bridport street to indulge in this well known burger can attest to that. The sheer number and consistency of the burgers being served by the staff was akin to the skillful brilliance of disposals coming from Nathan Buckleys right and left foots during his playing prime.

If your local served up this burgers you would probably die from a heart attack at age 50, but would go out in a bloody big coffin as a fat and happy man. If in the area it is definitely worth giving a crack. Like Michael Malthouse, these guys just know what they are doing, and have been doing it for years. While there are new venues with flashier game plans, sometimes a good game plan just works. You don't win the best burger in Melbourne (aka the premiership) multiple times for no reason.

Burger Friday Rating: 39.40/50

Bear Brass

Burger reviewed: Wagyu Burger, beef burger, cornte cheese, onion confit, house pickles, fries

Venue: Bear Brass

Date: 30/3/2012

I feel a lot of sympathy for Richmond supporters. The journey of a Burger Friday fellow reviewing burgers on a Friday has a lot of similarities with the proverbial emotional rollercoaster experience of the yellow and black faithful. Today we headed off with an air of anticipation following some strong recent murmurings to expect big things from the burger at Bear Brass, a self described “buzzy” venue in Southbank along the banks of the Yarra River. 

With an absolute belter of an autumn day in Melbourne at a positively balmy 27 degrees with the sun shining, the setting could not be better for a big first up performance. The small side to side cranial movements of a head wobble are just starting to set in that this could be the one. And then the reality sinks in. Whack. 

While the Burger Friday fellows like to avoid hype in order to judge burgers with an openness of mind (not seen since when Ben Cousins’ experienced his last hit), perhaps it was these reverberations that penetrated our sub conscious thoughts which ultimately left us underwhelmed.

So let's start with the good, before moving onto the bad and the ugly. The burger itself was generous in size, with a decent helping of McD's style fries and accompanying saucers of tomato sauce and homemade pickles. Plentiful sauce is always a favourite of the fellows so this was welcomed with open arms, even if it’s come from a Big Red Heinz bottle out the back. The venue also gets a tick, as it is in a bloody good location and having been recently refurbished, is in spectacular nick. The cooking of the burger patty also gets a tick from me, because it was cooked to a nice medium and was sufficient in size and appearance.

Now for the bad. The bun to patty ratio was all out of whack. The patty sat in that bun like it was a baseball in beaten old chewed up baseball mitt. Using the power of guesstimate, I would say the ratio was around 1:2, falling clearly outsize of the acceptable range.  It wasn't that the patty was small, it was just that the bun was proportionally oversized.

Also falling into the bad category was the cheese. While taking time out from managing my (fantasy) football team during the week, I was postulating that good cheese should be awarded a Nobel peace prize for its contributions towards structural integrity and overall harmonisation of burgers across the world. My postulations however require a rethink after today's burger. Perhaps the key element is not just cheese by itself, but cheese in conjunction with the application of heat to bring forth the gloriousness of melted cheese. Unfortunately this cheese was neither melted nor glorious.

And the ugly has to go to the flavouring. Or should I say lack thereof. I poured that whole aforementioned saucer of pickles (also containing some chillies which had about as much heat as Melbourne in the middle of winter) and the saucer of sauce on the burger to try and give it flavour. While this helped to some degree, it was ultimately to no avail. A great burger has that ultimate combination of flavours of sweetness, saltiness and smack of tanginess to finish it off. This sadly had none of the above. It's unfortunate given the cooking of the patty was great and the simple addition of some salt, pepper and good relish could have turned a mediocre burger into something much much better.

For me the burger as a whole was a lot like the coaching career at Richmond of the man with the golden tan Terry Wallace. He came in with a bang, looking good and getting supporters excited about where the tigers were going. Ultimately though for all the good looks, 5 year plans, bravado, and head wobbling, the tigers were no good where it counts, being performing on the field. But if a few pieces had fallen the right way (like recruiting Buddy Franklin instead of Richard Tambling), who knows, perhaps they could have been something. Likewise for this burger, a couple of additions and suddenly we have something great.

Burger Friday Rating: 25.5/50

Beer Deluxe

Burger reviewed: house-made beef double pattie with lettuce, bacon, onion & cheese

Venue: Beer Deluxe

Date: 16 March 2012

This week the fellows were dealt a curve ball when their planned venue, was at full capacity, resulting in No Mercy’s classic “Where do you go?” ringing in my head.  While our switch of venue may not have been as seamless as Chris Tarrant’s transition to the backline, the fellows made the decision to venture to Beer Deluxe, located at Melbourne’s favourite eyesore, Federation Square. While the outdoor relaxed setting may not have gone well with the muggy overcast weather conditions, one can appreciate the friendly atmosphere the venue delivers. It feels like the kind of place Bernie Vince may decide to drop his pants at, after a few celebratory frothies.

There is nothing wrong with a double pattie, but it would have been nice if the patties actually matched the size of the bun. Furthermore, despite being homemade, the patties were as dry as a Carl Barron comedy show. As already eluded to in earlier blogs, bacon always makes things better. Nevertheless it is the fair to say, the bacon added as many runs as Brad Haddin during the summer. The biggest criticism I can reserve for this burger centres around the sauce, or apparent lack of it. I am pretty sure my tastebuds picked up a semblance of American mustard, but I may have been dreaming.

One of the fellows’ biggest grievances is the skewer that often appears in between a burger. Generally this indicates a burger’s inability to hold together, but in this case, the burger lasted the journey quite well. This begs the question what the hell was the skewer doing there? I also was aggrieved that despite the fellows ordering their burgers at relatively the same time, there was a large time differential in receiving the burgers. It is lunchtime so it is best to be prepared.

However all was not lost. The positives really stem from the size of the burger – a beast if you will. The onions weren’t too shabby either. While we fellows have shown a preference toward fries of the shoe string variety, these chips were definitely a winner. I believe the chip is a harder skill to master, so Beer Deluxe can be commended for this effort. Also, no one can really complain about a double pattie burger with chips for $12.50, can they?

Furthermore, Beer Deluxe is aptly named given it specialises in showcasing local beers from Australian craft breweries. I have already forgotten the name of my pint, but think VB, but good. The staff were also helpful when quizzed about the taste of the available beers. While the comeback may not see the burger enter Mike Sheehan’s Top 50, Beer Deluxe has fared much better than Thorpedo did in the pool later that night.  

Taken as a whole, the burger can be described as fair, reasonable, run-of the mill, average, well I think you get the picture. I would happily eat there again but will not be rushing back either. One can think of the many players listed in the famous facebook page “mediocre 90’s AFL appreciation society” as the source of a ripper analogy. However I am going to go with a different tact and label the burger renowned Tasmanian cricketer Michael Di Venuto. While he was good enough to grab 9 one day international caps for the Aussies, in the end, the Aussie selectors were not rushing to go back for more, and he now finds himself playing international cricket for Italy. That’s right people, Italy have an international cricket team. They have even won two division 2 European cricket championships. Ah the things you learn while looking up Michael Di Venuto’s cricket statistics on google. Until next week.

Burger Friday Rating: 31.37/50

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